Of course, there is a real, medical definition of “schizophrenia,” but living with the hallucinations and delusions that come with it can be even harder to define.
This is made even worse by the fact that despite the awareness of mental health, schizophrenia is still widely misunderstood. So to learn more about schizophrenia, we need to turn to people who actually live with it. To do this, we partnered with Bring Change to Mind and asked people in our communities to share something they didn’t realize they were doing because they were living with schizophrenia.
Let’s spread the word. Here’s what they shared with us:
“I play as much music as possible so I can sing along to drown out the noise. I’m lucky that my workplace has music playing 24/7 and I know most of the songs, so I get through my workday in a good mood because the customers think/see that I’m singing happy songs and I can focus and function.”
“I keep to myself because I feel the stigma of schizophrenia pushes them away from me.”
“Not making eye contact. Some people give me a feeling that makes it impossible for me to make eye contact.”
“Checking to see if people still like me. Making sure that when people say they hate me, the voices are lying.”
“Trying not to break off in the middle of conversations all the time.”
“One thing I have to do is sleep with earplugs to block out the noises, both at home and in my head.”
“I’m very quiet in social situations most of the time. Some people find this rude or strange, even think of me as ‘stupid.’ What they don’t realize is that I’m constantly living in the dark depths of my mind and soul. I struggle to stay sane and keep the delusions and gloomy thoughts at bay. It takes a lot of mental effort.”
“I start touching and holding random objects to stop the tactile hallucinations taking over.”
“I actually pay attention to everything that’s going on. It may seem distracted, but I’m not missing much.”
“When I get irritable or easily upset with my family and friends, I don’t want to get hurt. My head is overloaded with busyness or thoughts and voices, so sometimes having other people make small talk can be too much of a burden on my already clogged mind. When I push people away, I am afraid of losing them.”
“I deliberately avoid the happiest moments in my life because I am terrified that the universe will cruelly take them away from me (like losing my wife or my dream job).”
“When I ask you if you called me or if you saw this – I am not joking. I really need you to help me get through it. Oh, and I always have music in my ears because it distracts me from these voices (voices that will never stop).”
“I have delusions, hallucinations, and my mind misinterprets things that are there. I reach out and touch things to make sure they are really there and look at things to determine that they are what they are. Most people don’t notice or even realize what I am doing.”
“I can be paranoid around everyone, so I’m really sensitive socially. I withdraw instead of being close, but I don’t want to be.”
“I’m socially awkward and don’t know what to say to my family members or how to voice my opinion on things without it being weird.”
“Constantly shifting my eyes during conversations.”
“They think I’m ignoring them or ‘imagining’ things as I try to fight the voices or noise in my head and come up with an answer.”
“I prefer to stay in dark rooms because I have fewer hallucinations.”