Most of us wake up in the morning with invisible weights on our shoulders. Somehow, we manage to get through the day without anyone realizing anything is wrong.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and over time, many things happened that I wasn’t prepared for. Here are a few things that other people don’t know about being “high-functioning” with an “invisible” disorder.
Sometimes, it can be overwhelming for others to understand.
They’ll just chalk it up to a “bad day,” not realizing it’s every day for you. Not being able to truly connect with someone can often leave you feeling lonely and misunderstood.
You’ll silently deal with things that others don’t really know.
This morning, I woke up hallucinating dead bodies of people and dogs. At first, I thought I was dead too. I had to talk myself into it because I had to go to class and then work a nine-hour shift. I tried to smile at work while silently coping with the ongoing hallucinations. Many of you may be dealing with these things or physical pain. It is not easy for everyone.
People may not believe you.
My mother had lupus and no one believed her because she “didn’t look sick.” No one believes me because I don’t sit around mumbling and drooling. Many of you may have been told things like “you are a fraud” or “you are lying.” What you are going through is very real and you are not being “dramatic” or “negative.”
There are many things that we all face every day in the struggle to just exist that the world will never understand. I am telling you this now, you are not alone.
You are valid and you are amazing.
Exercise Helps Reduce Symptoms of Schizophrenia
We all have priorities in our lives. Priorities define our actions and provide direction for daily activities. Priorities can include following the advice of family, friends, doctors, and taking care of your own needs and care. Given my mental health diagnosis, taking prescribed medications and exercising regularly are top priorities for me. In this article, I will focus on the importance of exercise.
I exercise for a variety of reasons. Exercise is good for my body, especially my heart and lungs. As blood circulation increases, I often experience a sense of well-being or happiness. Another reason I exercise is to clear my head of symptoms, such as hearing voices, seeing inexplicable visuals, and unexpected emotions. After a day on the treadmill, the symptoms subside, I usually smile, and I feel motivated to continue lifting weights and exercising.
Exercise also helps reduce the feelings of aggression associated with my schizophrenia diagnosis. Aggression and feelings of hopelessness can arise due to my mental health issues. The more angry I get, the more I exercise. This is much better for me than participating in negative actions and holding all those unproductive thoughts inside.
Sometimes it’s important to add variety to my exercise routine. I also do kickboxing because it’s another way to reduce stress and increase my sense of well-being. I usually think about the size of the class I’ll be attending. I prefer to work with fewer people because it reduces my anxiety. On Tuesdays, at 4:45 p.m., only a handful of people attend.
I love kickboxing so much that I recently got a free t-shirt for attending 200 sessions in my class. The instructor’s listing of my accomplishments on the board and putting on my boxing gloves and punching the bag motivates me. The class also includes other exercises like push-ups and crunches. Sometimes, mild symptoms can occur, but they soon go away because I’m doing the intense exercise and sweat dripping off my forehead.
On the surface, I don’t tell anyone about my schizophrenia. The other students in the class are acquaintances. I enjoy seeing the same faces, especially when they have completed 100 to 200 classes. The end of a class is winning the battle against a sedentary lifestyle and isolating myself in my apartment. The anger I felt about having a serious mental illness like schizophrenia has subsided. The instructor motivates us by saying, “Remember why you came here.”
After I exercise, I like to write down what I did on my calendar. I exercise four to five times a week and try to finish strong at the end of each week. After completing a week of exercise, I am motivated to continue exercising the following week. After four weeks, my calendar reminds me of my exercise achievements throughout the month. When exercise becomes a routine, I often feel guilty for not exercising. However, I have to be careful not to over-exercise.
Focusing on my exercise stimulates my brain and my symptoms usually disappear. Exercise fills in the gaps created by schizophrenia. I can’t think of a reason to stop exercising because it can be as good as therapy for me.
Influential People Who Have Coped with Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia has such a bad reputation in the media that it’s often hard to imagine a fulfilling life after a diagnosis. Although schizophrenia affects about 1% of the population, the National Alliance to End Homelessness reports that people with schizophrenia make up up to 20% of the homeless population.
According to WebMD, schizophrenia spectrum disorder (SSD) can make it difficult to work and function due to symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions, disorganized speech, social withdrawal, and other behaviors. Many people with schizophrenia experience anosognosia, which means that the person is unaware of the severity of their condition. However, negative stereotypes about people with schizophrenia are not necessarily true. Every individual has the power to change the stereotype for the better, and here are a few who have lived with a psychotic disorder and thrived:
Elyn Saks
You may have seen Elyn Saks in her TED talk “A Tale of Mental Illness” or in her memoir “The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness.” She is a respected university professor at the University of Southern California, where she advocates for better mental health laws. Her schizophrenia did not prevent her from amassing an impressive academic record at Vanderbilt, Oxford, and Yale, where she earned her law degree. Elyn Saks won a MacArthur Genius Grant in 2009 for her memoir. Her activism is closely intertwined with her professionalism, as her other work includes advocating for the rights of people with mental illness. Despite struggling with multiple hospitalizations over the years, she has achieved success in her career and love life, and lives with her husband in California.
Eleanor Longden
You may know Eleanor Longden from her TED talk ‘Voices in My Head’, which has been viewed over five million times. She is currently a postdoctoral researcher at the Psychosis Research Unit at the University of Manchester. Drawing on her own experiences with schizophrenia and psychosis, she advocates for more holistic approaches to treating auditory hallucinations and other symptoms of psychosis. She advocates empowering patients in their own personal health strategies, which contradicts many of the conventional treatment plans used by doctors who tend to leave their patients in the dark due to anosognosia or a perceived lack of understanding of their condition.
Esme Weijun Wang
Esme Wang is a rising newcomer to the schizophrenia activism movement. She made a splash in the world of mental health in 2019 when she published ‘The Collected Schizophrenias’, a collection of essays that recount her first-hand experiences with schizoaffective disorder. The disorder didn’t stop her from graduating from Stanford, becoming a New York Times Bestseller, and becoming an independent queer and femme business owner with a personal brand that helps “ambitious people with limitations.” Her book explores many of the challenges that people with psychotic disorders often face: deciding whether to have children, how to tailor their work lives to best suit their needs, and navigating higher education when elite schools discriminate against people with mental illness. She currently lives in San Francisco with her husband.
John Forbes Nash Jr.
Sylvia Nasar’ın “A Beautiful Mind” kitabını izlediyseniz veya okuduysanız, bu adamın kim olduğunu biliyorsunuzdur. 2015 yılında ölen Nash, üretken bir matematikçi ve ekonomistti ve 1994 yılında oyun teorisi üzerine yaptığı çalışmalardan ötürü iki teorisyenle birlikte Nobel Ödülü kazandı. Nasar, kitapta şizofreni ile olan hayat boyu mücadelesini anlatıyor. Hastalık onu yetişkin hayatı boyunca takip ediyor ve onunla birlikte Princeton’a ve ötesine seyahat ediyor ve günlerinin çoğunu çığır açan matematik prensipleri geliştirerek geçiriyor. Profesör ve akademisyen olarak başarılı bir kariyere sahip oldu ancak bu, birçoğu istemsiz olan birçok hastaneye yatış olmadan gerçekleşmedi. Nash sonunda birçok başarı elde etti ve en sevdiği şeyi yaparak zamanının tadını çıkardı.
Bu insanlar en görünür ve ünlü olsalar da, tek olanlar onlar değil. Toplumun her kesiminden, her kesimden birçok insan, şizofrenileriyle ilgili olarak koşullarına ve yaşamlarına göre yaşam alanlarında başarılar elde ediyor. Birinin derecesini alması, şizofreni topluluğu için önemli bir başarıyı garantilemeye yeter. Şizofreni hastaları için savunuculuk yapan birçok psikotik bozukluğu olan terapist vardır ve ruh sağlığı alanındaki tüm profesyoneller şizofreni hastaları için giderek daha iyi rehabilitasyon stratejileri geliştirmektedir. Curesz Vakfı ve Ulusal Ruhsal Hastalıklar İttifakı (NAMI) gibi kuruluşlar, başarı hikayelerini halka açık web sitelerinde yayınlamaktadır.
Yakın zamanda psikotik bir bozukluk teşhisi konduysa, bunun hayatınızın tüm hırsları için bir ölüm fermanı olmadığını unutmayın. İyileşme, bozuklukla yaşamanın önemli bir sürecidir, ancak bunun sonunda buna değeceğini gördüm.