When I was 16, I was diagnosed with prodromal schizophrenia. In some ways, it was a very scary time. I knew I could no longer trust the reality I was perceiving. I began to question everything I perceived. What was real? What was not real? How could I tell the difference? As a natural result of this questioning, I was forced to be analytical.
I found that the better you got at analyzing and explaining what was real, the easier it was to detect what was not real. Imagine this: a virus spreading around the world, a US President inciting an insurrection, and images of a man wearing gloves being spammed all over the internet. The real world can be a very strange place. But when you dig deep enough, there is a logical, factual explanation for most things. For example, let’s say you start to think that aliens have invaded Australia. Then you can’t find any verifiable, reputable sources to support such an idea. It might be a good idea to check if you are having a delusion.
The real world is a scary place.
As you may have noticed in a previous article, I have some absolutely crazy ideas floating around in my head. But these crazy thoughts are just a drop in the bucket when compared to the real events that are happening in this world that are equally terrifying. For example, I read a very official-looking news story about a zombie virus spreading on the East Coast of the United States. After about an hour of panicking and finally calming down, I found myself on a parody news site like The Onion when I did some more research.
It’s even harder to deal with parody and inexplicable pieces of news. Things like President Obama greenlighting the assassination of a US citizen or President Trump killing an Iranian general that could lead to another war in the Middle East. Both terrifying cases of abuse of executive power and very real things that are hard to ignore.
When being analytical isn’t enough.
In situations like the examples above, it can be hard not to go into full-on panic mode. The best you can do is tell yourself, “This is not my problem.” The more you do this, the more it will help to ease your fear. Realistically, the statement will usually be true. That’s not your problem. Are you a US General? No? Then that’s not your problem. Are you involved in military activities in the Middle East? No? Not your problem. Are you a politician who runs affairs in the Middle East? No? Say it with me! It’s. My. Problem. Not.
What People with Schizophrenia Want Others to Understand
Many people living with mental illness face stigma at some point. But a study by Indiana University found that stigma is especially strong against people with schizophrenia.
It doesn’t stop there: Only about 15 percent of people with schizophrenia in the United States are employed. About 70 percent of people with schizophrenia have experienced some form of discrimination. Only 46 percent of people say they would tell a friend if they were diagnosed with schizophrenia. And about 50 percent of people with schizophrenia have a form of unawareness called “anosognosia,” meaning they have no idea they have the condition.
Perhaps the most important statistic of all: While only 1 percent of the world’s population has schizophrenia, 100 percent of those people deserve respect.
We asked people in our community living with schizophrenia and related illnesses to tell us one thing they wish others understood.
“My mind can be louder than anything around me.”
“Living is not always easy. I’ve lived like this my whole life. You don’t trust people and you’re always scared. People don’t understand. Sometimes you need your space.”
“I have a chronic illness and that illness is schizoaffective disorder. That’s it. Ask me how I’m doing, if I’m taking care of myself, if I’m feeling good, if I need someone to talk to. Treat me like a human being because that’s who I am. I’m not a stereotype.”
“I’m in recovery, which means I’m going to do everything I can to overcome any obstacles I may face. It just makes me stronger.”
“It’s hard to name just one… I definitely want people to understand that just because I have schizophrenia doesn’t mean I’m not human. Words hurt. That joke about someone hallucinating or delusional is unacceptable. Your joke = my reality.”
“There is so much stigma around schizophrenia that many of us don’t tell people in our lives – friends, colleagues, even partners and family. Many of us rightly fear discrimination. We have to live our lives in secrecy, which means no one knows what we are going through and can’t help or support us when we need it. This means that people with schizophrenia are almost invisible in positive roles in society. I wish people understood more about schizophrenia and welcomed us so that we don’t have to hide it and fear people’s reactions.”
“Mental illness is not a character flaw; it is a strength. Of course, it takes a lot of personal commitment and support, but for those who can support their loved ones — you are changing a life. I am a person who receives and provides services; that is called lived experience, and my best quality is that I have no resentment. I could not have done it without the support of my sister.”
“I can be a good employee, wife, and mother with this diagnosis.”
“Sometimes I am not a danger to anyone but myself. I am alone. I suffer. I am scared, but I am not dangerous.”
“This is not an excuse. My diagnosis is real. I struggle every second of the day to grasp reality. If I could change it, I would; I don’t want to feel this way, but it is not my choice.”
“We have more similarities than differences.”
Schizophrenia Symptoms You Don’t Know
Schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder (a disorder characterized by symptoms of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder or depression) are complex disorders that are often popularized in the media. Schizophrenia is often stereotyped as experiencing hallucinations and/or delusions, and the other symptoms of the disorder are rarely mentioned.
To be diagnosed with schizophrenia, a person must exhibit two main core symptoms, but one of the symptoms must be hallucinating, experiencing delusions, or disorganized speech. The second symptom must be extreme disorganization or decreased emotional expression. While these are the hallmark symptoms of schizophrenia and are used at the time of diagnosis, there are a variety of other symptoms that are not regularly discussed. The following are symptoms that I have experienced as someone with schizoaffective disorder (depressive type), and they are common symptoms of both schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder.
Social isolation.
Social isolation occurs when an individual has little or no social contact. Not being able to get help from others or maintain relationships, not being able to be with others in public are hallmarks of social isolation. In my experience, when I am struggling, I am unable to reach out to other people in my life when I need help and I am unable to maintain relationships. I also have social anxiety that increases during certain periods, so I cannot leave my house.
Believing that ordinary events have a special and personal meaning.
This symptom varies greatly from person to person. For example, an individual with this symptom may believe that they are receiving messages through the television or radio. In my experience, I have had episodes where I see numbers repeating and believe that something bad will happen to me when I see certain numbers. I often believe that numbers have special meanings and that they are telling me something when they appear in my life. This can be extremely stressful and I often struggle with paranoia.
Feeling disconnected from myself.
This is another symptom that is difficult to cope with and is often invisible. Depersonalization occurs when someone does not feel connected to their body or thoughts and feels that they have no control over them. In my experience, I often feel like I am not in my body and have a hard time feeling connected to myself, especially when I see reflections or pictures of myself. This symptom also makes it hard for me to understand my identity.
Fatigue.
Fatigue is a hallmark of many disorders and refers to feeling exhausted or worn out. In my experience, I have found it challenging to accept that I need more rest than most people and that I need extra sleep because of my fatigue. In fact, I still do. In our world, needing more rest is often seen as being lazy, but it is important to understand that there is nothing wrong with needing more rest. We all differ in how much rest and sleep we need, and if you or someone you love is experiencing fatigue, the best thing you can do is try to be understanding and kind.
Memory loss.
Memory loss is probably one of the most frightening symptoms I experience with schizoaffective disorder and is a common symptom of schizophrenia. Memory loss can be long-term and/or short-term. I have found that medication and therapy have helped me cope with my memory loss, but it is an ongoing process.
Schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder are rare, serious mental illnesses that present with a wide range of symptoms. The symptoms I discuss in this article are some of the most common symptoms I experience with my diagnosis, but there are many more that make each person’s experience unique. I hope that by discussing the various symptoms of these illnesses, we can debunk the stereotypes that exist in our society. Listen to someone’s story before you make assumptions. This is an incredibly important practice.